First Conservative Blog

Where the Real Wild Things Are

As we close yet another bizarre week in the news, the Obama administration combined with world despots, to create yet another series of truly wild events.  So to coincide with release this weekend of Where the Wild Things are, we present this week’s list of Wild Things.

Venezuela
In a picture of what could be on the horizon for Americans, Venezuela’s “Porky Pig” Chavez, who hasn’t missed a good feeding because of the inherently unfair capitalist, imperialist system, announced a new government policy limiting showers to a total of three minutes to conserve water.  Chavez recently put the Venezuelan media under his control because he could no longer force feed them a daily ration of trash.  So now the population is both dirty and uninformed – sort of like the US hippie culture of the late 1960s.  This explains the voting habits of these 1960’s lifestyle leftovers – most of whom are now teachers in the public schools.

Fox News
Obama’s recent attempt to freeze out Fox News is a long way off from Chavez’ outright nationalization of the news media, but the Prez is still in line with South America’s favorite tubby despot.  It has been said that Democrats lack a sense of humor.  This must be true, since the Obama administration has made itself the laughingstock of even the most liberal member of the DC press corps.   Fox meanwhile has enjoyed the treatment, adding significant numbers of viewers due to the free exposure provided by leading leftists.  If the lefties are so outraged against Fox, most thinking viewers understand that Fox must actually be telling the truth.

Hollywood Musicians
Some of the world’s foremost purveyors of modern music objected loudly this week when it was revealed that some of their music may have been used to break down the wills of trained killers currently held at Guantanamo.  The theory goes that their music was played repeatedly to aggravate and finally coerce the terrorists to spill their guts – to prevent Americans from literally spilling their guts in the streets of unnamed US cities.  

The outrage is absolutely laughable – especially to anyone that had an 11 year old daughter when Hanson came out with its Mmm Bop song.  The song was on auto repeat for hours on end in millions of American homes and the youth came out none the worse for wear.  It was the parents that needed mental help. 

Roseanne Cash in speaking for some claimed that ‘music should never be used for torture.’  That may be true enough, but anyone who has endured an interview with any member of R.E.M. has suffered far worse.   In truth, the US military and CIA officers that came up with this scheme may have finally discovered a true benefit to whatever it is that Rage Against the Machine produced in the way of sound.   At least Rage finally contributed something to the country.  In the end, if the interrogators really wanted to turn these killers into kittens, they would have played the Banana Boat Song by Harry Belafonte until the terrorists brains melted into mush.   This also explains how Belafonte created so many Democrat followers.

Rahm Emanuel
Rarely does the White House allow Rahm to participate in extensive press sessions where he could be photographed.  After this week’s video of Emanuel’s meetings with Congressional lefties emerged, the reasons for this strategy became self evident.    Rahm’s eyes are consistently at half-mast.  However the part of his pupils that peek out give one the impression that he needs to go in for his yearly rabies shot.  Perhaps this is all a Halloween get-up, but the administration would be well advised to banish this lunatic into the same locked up room where they now keep Joe Biden.

Balloon Boy
The Colorado family that created a crisis for the purpose of generating publicity is probably headed for a court date.  Interestingly though, this is exactly the same tactic that the aforementioned Rahm Emanuel employs to drum up false demand for government takeover of health care (as well as energy, transportation, finance…..).   Emanuel should immediately come to the Balloon Boy family’s defense as it was he who made this method of pursuing one’s objectives acceptable.

Sense of Direction
A Northwest Airlines flight from San Diego, California overshot the Minneapolis, Minnesota, airport by about 150 miles Wednesday evening, causing passengers to miss their connections.  Interestingly, their luggage arrived right on time.  The flight of course eventually reached its destination, but not without unwanted publicity. 

Overshooting objectives seems to be a common result of Democrat action as well.  After pledging to bring in a health care bill that didn’t add to the deficit, the Congressional Budget office reported that the current Democrat takeover plan won’t add to the deficit but will instead result in billions of new taxes that will be paid by consumers that already have health care insurance.  So while Congressional lefties were celebrating the potential reduction in the deficit, their constituents were trying to reach them by phone to ask how they are to pay for it.  At least voters know which direction Democrat office holders will be heading next November.

These events occurred within only a few short days this week.  Just don’t ask what Team Obama and the DC lefties have planned for next week.